“You’re imperfect and you are hardwired for struggle, but you are worthy of love.” – Brene Brown
This is one of my favorite quotes, not because it’s so profound, but because it’s so true. Even still it took me a long time to really get this. On a fundamental level I have always understood that I’m imperfect (we all are), but that did not stop me from striving for perfection (a.k.a. trying to be something that I’m not).
Even more than accepting that I am imperfect, which is a struggle in itself, believing that I was worthy of love, was even more of a stretch.
So much about what we know about love, is not only a reflection of our environment, but also a collection of our experiences. In an ideal world, we would all grow up in homes where love was freely expressed, where we were taught to love and honor ourselves, but the world is imperfect – just like we are. These imperfections create the perfect environment for struggle, while also generating the ideal habitat for surrender.
Grace is found in the surrender. When we surrender the idea of perfection and accept the beauty of imperfection, we free ourselves from the shackles of false expectation (which is often the source of the struggle).
This is easier said than done, I know. There is no surrender without struggle. There is no perfection without imperfection. Alas, suffering is part of the gig. There is no avoiding it. Nobody gets through this life without struggle, no matter how good things look from the outside. But it is entirely possible to acquire the tools to travel with the luxury of enjoying the journey.
The most important tool in your arsenal will be self-love. When you are able to love yourself, you can conquer anything. The first step in the self-love process is accepting yourself as you are, letting go of “who you think you’re supposed to be.”
If life truly happens in order, that means you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, right now. There are no alternate endings in real life. No rewind and no fast forwards either (thank goodness). Stop stressing about what happened in the past, let go of your projections of the future, and be here, right where you are.
The present has some really good stuff to share with you. You will meet people who will help you through the tough parts. Paths that look like dead ends are sometimes just the “road less traveled.” Maybe you were meant to pave your own path. Perhaps you were destined to blaze the trail for others just like you.
Give yourself a chance to surprise you. You’re not supposed to know it all, besides what would be the fun in that?
The Gifts of imperfection
by Brene Brown