I am sick and tired of the shaming of the S.E.W. (sexually empowered woman). You know the woman who knows that she is fucking sexy and is unapologetic about it. The ones who can rock a pair of stilettos or flip-flops, and still ooze the same amount of sensual mojo. I am talking about the woman who captivates the attention of everyone she meets, male and female, effortlessly.
It is not her hair or her outfit. It is not her perfume or her nude face. It is not her job or her nondescript handbag. It’s all her. She is confident and proud. She is aware that her presence scares you, but she does not care. She knows that you are talking about her, weaving the story of your own insecurity with her in the starring role.
She is the well-fucked woman. The one who has sex because she enjoys it and not because she is obligated. She carries no tension in her shoulders because she is relaxed, being well-fucked does that to you. She is not interested in putting a stranglehold on her desires, she knows exactly how she wants to feel.
She does not harness anger, bitterness, or resentment, because she knows that she is always in choice… accountability is her middle name. She takes full responsibility for her life, her pleasure, and her success. When things don’t go her way, she does not claim defeat, instead she plots a new strategy.
She is a winner, not a whiner.
You call her a slut because her confidence offends you. The fact that she owns her power makes you uneasy. You talk behind her back because you are afraid of your own sexual nature. She makes you uncomfortable.
Your judgement does not make you a better person. Your self-doubt has made you a prisoner, while her self-esteem has set her free.
She is not special, you know. You could be that confident too. But first you have to stop hating on other women. The patriarchal odds are stacked against us all. There is no fast pass to the top. We are all in this together.
So the next time you find yourself projecting your self-doubt onto another woman, ask this question:
“What is her presence teaching me about myself?” tweet this
The answer will crack you wide open, if you let it.