During my most recent jaunt to my local secondhand bookstore, I was reading quietly when I suddenly got a tickle in my nose. I sneezed fairly quietly, but the guy who was reading a several feet away from me still heard it.
“Bless you…” he said without looking up.
“Thank you,” I responded
“That was the quietest sneeze I have ever heard.”
“Yeah, my sister tells me that all the time,” I replied.
He went on to ask me what I was looking for. I told him that I was looking for books about sex. He told me that he was looking for inspirational and motivational books.
Then he whispered, “why are you looking for books about ‘sex?’” To which I replied, “why is it so difficult to say the word sex aloud in public when everyone in this store is here because of it?”
We had a good laugh about it. But this is not the first time I have had such an exchange.
The level of shame that still exists about sex doesn’t surprise me. We live in an age where sexiness is used to sell products and services, but there is still a huge amount of discomfort around sex itself. Women are allowed to be sexy, but they are not allowed to be sexual. Because we have been conditioned to equate a woman’s sexuality to promiscuity.
It’s a vicious cycle.
We feel the same way about money as we do about sex. People that are generous with money are often generous lovers. People that are tight with their money tend to be more uptight about their sexuality.
Money is made through sexual energy. Money is a byproduct of creative energy. And when our sexuality is stifled the flow of our money is often affected. When there is an influx of money and creativity is being suffocated, you are more likely to hoard your money for fear that it will go away.
Sexual energy is not always about sex. Because sexual energy and creative energy are one and the same, it’s used to create anything you want. You can use it to make babies and knit sweaters.
The point I am making is… you must be willing to come out of the closet if you want to maintain balance and flow in your life.
If you continue to put a gag order on your sexuality, you will continue to experience discomfort in other areas of your life, because it’s all connected.
There is no need to hide your sexuality. No need to cloak your nature.
There is nothing disgraceful about having little sexual experience. And there is no shame if you choose to indulge in sexual pleasure.
Sex is a natural part of the human experience. And whether you choose to satiate your carnal cravings or transmute the energy into something else… is entirely up to you.
No matter what, there is nothing to be ashamed about.
Need some advice? Check out Long Story Short my new advice column!