Lesson #4 “When people show you who they are…”

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Dr. Evil - Maya AngelouDespite what you see on the news, humans are mostly good. While we are all capable of egregious acts, we also have an enormous capacity for goodness. Knowing that this conflict exists has always caused me a great deal of trouble. 

See I am big on the whole benefit of the doubt thing (most of the time). I try to look for the good in everyone, even when the person has “bad news” tattooed on his/her forehead.  I should qualify this by saying, that I also have a really strong intuition and sometimes if I get a tingling of not-so-goodness from the beginning, the benefit of the doubt goes out the window fast. However, I have spent a great number of years ignoring my intuition and turning a blind eye when the not-so-goodness couldn’t have been more obvious. I’m such an advocate for the underdog, and on more occasions than I care to admit I have allowed more than I should have, given more than I could afford, and paid more than I was willing to, for ignoring what I knew was true.

Miss Maya (Angelou) knew what she was talking about when she said:

When someone shows you who they are… believe them.

                                                                              – Maya Angelou

I do not believe that anyone is inherently “bad.” I would even venture to say that in the eyes of the Universe good and bad may not even exist, I’m convinced it’s a construct of humans. But when the words, deeds, or actions of another person do not resonate with your truth, you must pay attention. When you do not honor what is true for you, you are inviting discontentment, dis-ease, and a host of other things that can throw a wrench in your flow. When it’s all said and done, you’re left cleaning up the mess of your disappointment, hurt feelings, wounded ego, and fractured heart.

People often tell you exactly who they are in plain english (or whatever language they happen to speak). Here are a few examples:

  • The bad boy who you can’t stay away from told you that he didn’t “do relationships,” but you kept trying anyway.
  • Your anti-BFF shows her true colors every time she insults you in front of mixed company, but you keep nervously laughing it off. 
  • Your co-worker is exposing her true nature when she gossips about Tom, Dick, and Susie, you know she’s talking about you when you’re not around too. 

If you pay attention, you won’t have to look very long (or hard) to see the truth about a person. Most often you can tell within the first few minutes of meeting. But sometimes it takes a bit more time. Either way, once the truth is revealed… believe them and show em’ the exit.

Life is too precious and important to waste it on people who do not deserve to be in your space. It’s up to you to set boundaries in your life.

You get to decide who enters, who stays, and who goes. (click to tweet)

 This post is part of the “This is 40blog series

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