My very first crush was a boy who looked a lot like Ricky Schroeder, with no silver spoon. He had a blond bowl cut and he loved basketball. I have no idea what his name was. I didn’t know any of his friends. I didn’t know what classes he took or whether he was smart or not. I never spoke a single word to him. But I looked for him on the basketball court every single day. I would stare at him though the gate, silently praying that his team would win before the bell rang.
I was a little bit less shy with my next crush, kinda. We rode the school bus together, even got on at the same stop. He was a year ahead and he hung out with the cool kids. I thought he was so cute and he smelled great for a teenage boy. We talked often, but he didn’t like me, not like that.
It happened again in high school. I fell for a guy who thought I was cool. We hung out and talked on the phone all the time. When I told him that I liked him, he said “I know.” And that was the end of that. Nearly a year later he told me that he liked me back, but the romance didn’t endure – we should have stayed friends.
As an adult, I have had many similar experiences. Liking someone who thought I was nice or cute, but not girlfriend material. But the friend zone changes as you get older, because men will fuck you even if they don’t want you… which totally sucks.
But this is what I know for sure… Everything that catches my eye isn’t for me. “Everything that glitters ain’t gold.” Yes, there will be plenty of things that I think I want, but the Universe will only serve up the stuff that is truly intended for me. And yes, sometimes I will get exactly what I want and it will blow up in my face, because some lessons can only be learned through experience.
In the words of the wonderful Randy Pausch, “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
Randy also knew a few things about men,“When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.” #Amen
So why am I sharing these stories about the crushes of my youth?
Because not getting what you think you want is a part of life. Because sometimes you focus on the wrong thing or the wrong people. Because sometimes you will get the wind knocked out of your sails. Because sometimes the object of your affection won’t be interested. Because sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs… and sometimes you won’t get to kiss at all. But you will always get exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.
You will always get exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. (tweet this)