Lesson #11 - Love means saying your sorry

Whoever said “love means not ever having to say you’re sorry,” may have been onto something (that means you, author of Love Story, R.I.P.). 

But in my experience, love has meant saying I’m sorry – a lot.

The people I love or have loved, know that I mess it up. I get it wrong. I upset, destroy, sabotage, blunder, and fall. I sometimes say my thoughts out loud at the most inopportune moments. I express my opinion without invitation. I’m really good at speaking out of turn.

I also zone out and I’m easily distracted by sparkly objects. I admittedly enjoy my own company more than any other person. I sometimes show up to interpersonal conversations as a coach, when I am being asked to be the space of love and acceptance. 

I often judge people through the lens of my own experience, rather than witnessing the miracle of the current incarnation of the individual. 

And I apologize for those things. 

Maybe love really does mean not ever having to say you’re sorry…. but it most certainly requires that you ask for forgiveness – on a very regular basis. 

Existing in the world with other people can often feel like walking through a minefield. It’s nearly impossible to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Even saying nothing can create tension. 

It’s not about making it through the day blunder free. It’s about being open to receiving the miracle of connection. And miracles do not always arrive in bright, shiny packages. It’s the contents that makes a gift a gift… not the wrapping.

So if you need to apologize – do it, and be okay with it. (tweet this)

This post is part of the This is 40blog series.’ Forty lessons. Forty weeks.